A night of epic happenings..

This is my night in a nutshell:

 1. Extremely strong drinks with mom at bar in philly, waiting for her friend.
 2. Traveled to night club an hour away in nj.
 3. Mom convinced some old mob guy that I in fact was in the mob and knew Donald Trump. (Drunk now)
 4. I told some guy that Id "slit his throat, if he touched my mom again" (Really drunk now)
 5. Smoked about 6 cigarettes in a row outside while watching moms friend grab the attention of all 150 people outside by her crazy ass dancing. (Beyond drunk now)
 6. Dancing inside with a slew of cougars and mobsters with really expensive suits and wrist watches.
 7. Drove back towards home, got home... but decided the diner was best to visit first.
 8. Mom so drunk she couldnt speak or stand, Moms friend.. gets out of my car in front of diner and simultaneously fall backwards into a huge shrub and gets completely swallowed whole.
 9. Mom too drunk to go in diner so i sit in my car with her while her friend (who is shhwasted) goes in and orders scrapple and eggs..
10. We finally get home after alot of arguing and laughing and just plain out being stupid.

~~~~~Recipe for a hangover cure ~~~~~~

• TO DRINK:
• Tomato Juice
• Tabasco sauce
• Lemon Juice
• 1 measure of Vodka
• TO EAT:
• 3 Rashers of Back bacon
• 3 tinned tomatoes
• 2 scrambled eggs
• 1 orange

Prep time 5 mins : cooking time 5 mins

Now contrary to popular belief, the best way to beat a nasty "morning after" feeling is to eat little and often for the first 4 hours you are awake rather than go for the "monster" fry - up. You should avoid fibre and carbohydrates at all costs as these will make you feel like a Zombie due to their slow release into your blood.

Now the first thing you want to do is take a long slow drink of the tomato juice laced with the Tabasco, vodka and lemon. The reason for this and for a bloody mary being world renowned as a good hangover cure is that tomatoes are packed full with antioxidants which cleanse your blood from all impurities like alcohol and fat.

The reason that you feel so low is not the lack of sleep you have had but your bodies withdrawal from the booze. This is why you feel better after "The hair of the dog" being the vodka, as it gives your body a break from fighting the disfunction. So, The eggs for protein to build your red blood cells back up, the tinned tomatoes for the extra antioxidants ( fresh ones are lower in capacity) , the bacon for the fat to counter the spirit in your blood and the orange for the citric acid to cut through the fat from the bacon....PHEW!! Now trust me on this, I am a pro. so know what i'm talking about....this WILL work but you must eat more of the same again within 4 hours and DO NOT go back to bed as this will not exite the antioxidants in your blood and you will not recover as quick!! Take a hot shower with a blast of cold before you get out and splash on some nice aftershave as this will stimulate your senses and promote a feeling of well - being....Good luck!! ...